Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Secret Hunger

Published in a daily reflection of January’s Magnificat.

“By the heart we understand the most secret part of the soul, where joy, and sadness, fear, or desire, and whatever we call sentiments or affections is formed.  Then the love of God in the heart is that sweet attraction which draws us incessantly to Him, which desires to enjoy him, delights to be busied with him, tastes always a new pleasure in him as the confidant of its joys and pains, it lives under the liveliest impressions of its sovereign good and intimately enjoys his continual presence.
…What is this cry of the heart, this unceasing desire, attraction of the soul—this secret hunger which calls every moment after a happiness it can never reach on earth?...
You give to the soul your delight in her, the purest joys in foretaste of the torrents of your eternal inebriations—speaking to the soul, you consume, at all times, and in all places, in silence or in the noise, in deepest darkness, or brightest day.”

---Saint Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton (was the first American canonized saint, a mother of five, widowed, and founded the American Sisters of Charity)

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton rocks and I’ve known this since I was in college.  I used to have quotes from her taped to my mirrors so that when I dried my hair, I could read them.  They were always about vocation…living only for God’s will and not our own, etc. and that attitude was what I aspired to be as a 20 yr old and now as a 27 yr old!

The “secret hunger” that she speaks of in this above reflection is becoming for me more of a hunger pang…more and more intense in its longing.  I want to know God fully and I want to live my life so other people can know God fully.  And in the midst of all of this, God is filling me with a deep sense of satisfaction and joy that makes me glow as if a candle was lit inside of me and warming my insides!

The mild satisfaction of this “secret hunger” actually makes me crave even more…which is frustrating because I want everything and I want it NOW.  But, the more I am aware of this hunger…this ability to love God as I was truly created to love…it is HERE that I will find my greatness and my path in life!  What will become of this hunger??  It’s in pursuit of this answer that makes the adventure of life completely worthwhile!